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Varney the Vampire Or the Feast of Blood - Thomas Preskett Prest

 I don't know how much of this is supposed to be funny, but I keep finding myself giggling and sometimes laughing out loud.

 

A duel with Varney has been interrupted by a mob out for his blood, or whatever, and he has hid himself in the woods nearby.  The other duel participants, 4 men, try to stop the mob.

  

And so we discover the humane way to kill a vampire.

 

page 395

 

"Drive a stake through him," said a woman; "it's the only way, and the humanest.  You've only to take a hedge stake and sharpen it a bit at one end, and char it a little in the fire so as there mayt'n't be no splinters to hurt, and then poke it through his stomach."

 

 

A few minutes later the mob flushes him from the woods and they give chase.

The 4 men are standing atop a little hill watching and commenting and the play by play is like they're watching a steeple chase.